Tagged---7 Things

I was tagged by my husband. Here goes:

Seven Things To Do Before I Die

1. Become more physically fit
2. Visit places in Europe
3. Become financially stable so much so that I can help others in need
4. To be able to really forgive the past
5. Stress less over the small stuff
6. Go to a real live concert of someone I really like
7. Learn to relax and put more trust into the Lord knowing that he's got it.

Seven Things I cannot Do

1. Drive a stick shift
2. Reach objects high up cause I'm vertically challenged
3. Math-ugh!!!!
4. Can't tan worth a darn either
5. Say no to people-I'm a pushover
6. Can't read music-though I can sing decently
7. Verbalize what I really mean sometimes. It's better in writing.

Seven Things That Attract Me To My Mate

1. His compassion
2. His warmth
3. The fact that he likes wrestling as much as me
4. He dresses really nice
5. His kindness
6. He's funny
7. He helps with housework-which helps me alot

Seven Things I say

1. Hey Paco
2. What up
3. Ha Ha
4. Whatever
5. Oh Mylanta
6. No (to children all day)
7. Get over it

What A Day

Have you ever in your life experienced a day when nothing at all seems to go your way. I had the day off? It was almost midnight before I got in the bed last night, and I was up at 6am with the boys. I let Todd sleep in. I do things like that for him because that's the way I am. I took all the kids to their destinations. Or so I thought. I forgot one of them. So when I got back home at 7:30 she had already missed the bus. I got her up, off to school and then went to my appointment. Things were going ok, my mood was good. Then when I got home-I was messing around in the garage and fell. Bruised my leg and shoulder- was a nervous wreck for a few hours-couldn't stop trembling. Had another appointment to go to. Another trip into town. Then had an unexpected appointment to go too. 3 appointments in one day-its tiring running all day long. Not to mention, I was already exhausted. I hate using up all my free time on my days off to run errands all day. One of the kids ended coming home early just because she has a cold-she's milking it-when you have children you can usually tell-and things like that drive me nuts too....It's just been one long frustrating day. Luckily I have tomorrow off too BUT I have to take the 2 little boys to ADHD check-ups-joy, joy!!!!!! UGH!!!! Probably another 10,000 things to do. I'll pray-it helps. Gotta delegate sometimes.

I'm Tiiiiiiiiired!

Just came off of three shifts back to back! 7am to 11pm then 7am to 3pm today. I'm tired. 2nd shift really isn't that bad-I actually enjoy it. I have more time to relax. Last night I was actually able to watch some wrestling going from room to room-it was cool. Earlier in the evening one of my residents was sent out due to not being able to maintain his oxygen. I feel really good about being as attentive to him as I was because apparently he was sleepy all day and wasn't very active or anything. When I made my rounds to get vitals later in the afternoon, something just didn't feel right to me-his breathing didn't seem quite normal plus he wasn't easily aroused-I went to get the Sat machine to check his oxygen and it was way below normal. I reported to the nurse. Long story short, he was sent out and apparently as soon as the EMT's got him into the ambulance he crashed and they had to perform CPR before they took him to the ER. As of now, he is stable. Still not quite sure what happened though.

Since I've been on my job, I've lost about 8 people. I've had people tell me it will get easier but it doesn't-not for me. I'm too sensitive and my heart's much too big not to let death bother me. It breaks my heart to lose someone-I hurt for the families that I've come to know and I hurt for my loss also because I've come to love the folks I care for. It will never get easier for me. The loss of a loved one hurts no matter who you are.

Looking Up

Have you ever been in a position to where you had no other choice but to look up? Not necessarilry lying flat on your back from a fall or something, but having so much going on in your life that your so overwhelmed and confused. These past several days, I have said things to people that I thought I would never say. Not being ugly, just bluntly honest and matter of factly speaking. Today especially was tough. A day when you think everyone else is an idiot and that the only way to do things right is to do them yourself.

I found myself looking up many, many times asking why. It's not the first time I've done it-this past month I've done it probably a thousand times asking why is everything so wrong? Why is everything falling on me? If its not one thing, its something else. Fix one problem-another one arises. It never ends!!!!!

As a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, doctor, caretaker, ect....(the list goes on), my life is full-yet I feel empty at times. I stay so stressed out over worrying about others and taking care of everyone else that my joy for life is zapped from me. My family comes first before anything. My husband before my children. I take care of everyone and I love doing it. If I didn't, I wouldn't have the job I do now taking care of the elderly. I love those people and they need me too. I'm not complaining by no means...this is who I am. My stress, my worries come from the not knowing. I can see a nice future-but things are so dim right now. I do see the light at the end of the tunnel though. I know that God is in this, because he has just brought us though a critical issue. God has reasons for what he does. We dont' understand and we probably don't even like the outcome of some things, but if there is one thing that I do believe it is that God will never forsake us. God doesn't intend for us to suffer and hurt. We all make stupid decisions from time to time and its unfortunate that we have to pay the price for those mistakes sometimes-but it happens. God is here-but when there is a lesson to be taught through a mistake-it comes though loud and clear. My faith grows stronger everyday. I know I need HIM more than anything else that I have. I am starting to understand faith more and more everyday. Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. How great is that. You got to believe.

I still have my days, everyone does. But when I have a day like today, I take a minute to look up and say a few words. I'm very thankful that I can do that. It helps me get through some tough spots.