Back To The Past

I'm going to make this as short as I can but long enough so you know where I'm coming from.

To start off with, I was raised basically by my mama and grandmother. My parents divorced when I was 4 or 5 years old. We lived in Ohio at the time. When they divorced we moved to SC to live with my grandmother. My Dad was never around enough nor did he contribute much, if any, to help in our upbringing. He was one who made promises, but never kept them. My mama was good enough though to let him come in and out of our lives as he wanted too. Considering all the circumstances, I think my mama did a decent job raising her 3 children. I have a brother 1 year older than me and a brother 3 years younger. I love them all very much.

Living with my grandmother was ok. She did help take care of us. She loved the little one more, in my opinion, because he was only 2 when we moved here so she was with him more. She thought we were demons most of the time. Unruly children. Aren't we all at times when we're little?

Mama remarried when I was 10, and we moved to Batesburg-Leesville. That is where I also met my best friend. I think at the time I liked myself for the most part. I was and always have been very pretty, just overweight. So because of this, I have always been insecure. I felt no boys would ever like me because I was overweight. And when your growing up-unfortuantely you really do want to be liked by boys or girls and you want to fit in and be popular. I wasn't popular, but that really didn't bother me. I was who I was and my attitude in my early teens was "you can like me or not-I don't care." I think that I was pretty confident in myself despite my feelings about my weight. I was the "Leader of the Pack" at school. It was me and a group of girls and we would walk and talk around the schoolyard. They pretty much followed me. My self-esteem was pretty decent. Remember though, that because I was a little overweight, I was already self-consicious about myself. I really never thought that I would have a boyfriend because I was overweight. Confident, sensitive,caring,relaxed, free spirit, warm, kind, giving, loving and Ms. Attitude when I needed to be was who I was up until 15 years old.