I have been having a real difficult time since my 15 yr. old son Steven went to live with his father and stepmother in January. I chose to let him go because I was afraid if I didn't he would grow up to resent me. Granted the house is calmer and quieter now, but I still miss him very much. When we are together its more pleasant. I can enjoy him more.
Lately, I've been taking him to and from his doctor visits and such and I wonder why. Since they wanted him-why shouldn't they do these things for him. BUT at the same time its the mother in me that wants to make sure he gets to where he's got to go and know that he's ok.
Here lately, I've adjusted more to him being gone. I just want the best for him. I want him to remember the things that I have tried to instill in him-and as bad at it seems, I want him to remember our past and learn from it and try to not make those kind of mistakes. I just want him to grow up to be a good man-decent, respectful, hard working ect....but then again what mom wouldn't want that for her child. I've realized, now that my ex-husband has remarried, his life is more settled now and that I need to let them help me more with the kids if they want too. I drive myself nuts trying to do everything all the time myself.
My biggest problem with the new step-mother has been that Ive been feeling like she was over stepping her bounds with my child. Steven has to have brain surgery on the 6th of June. I found out in late April that he has what is called a Chiari 1 malformation-which means that the bottom half of the brain is hanging through the base of the skull which also has caused fluid build up in his spinal cord. It all has to be fixed. Well, his step-mother was with me for that office visit and I just felt out of place. She said she'd like to be there over night with him also while he's in ICU. That's my territory. He's my child-and I'd prefer to be with him myself. But I recently learned that I won't be allowed overnight in the room with him either. I'm going to make this work. Steven's going to be in the hospital a week. My family from Ohio is going to be here that week also, so I'm more willing to let Steven's Dad and step-mom help. I keep trying to remember that these are his kids too and he should help. I hope that I'm handling this ok. I just can't stand the stress of all this.
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3 comments:
The step mom has no place being there when you are. You are his mother she is nothing but his father's wife. Don't let her brow beat you. If necessary get orders stopping her interfering with your time with your son. She has no rights herself to your son. Don't feel guilty I'm sure your ex wouldn't want your new partner interfering in the way he "fathers" your son.
I would be kind to the step parent and thank god she loves my son along with us. Nothing can an ever will take a mother's place unless you let it. You will always be the mom there is no need to be insecure. if anything she is the one that needs the reassurance that she belongs too...
anonymous 423am. I think that you should not be so harsh, sounds like you are a BM with SM issues. It is a team partenership exspecially with blended families. We all have to remember that childern thrive from love and healthy relationships. It is your place there with your son. It is her place in the waiting room and on stand by. Just make sure the healthy relationship stands through all this we all know how to be respectfull and bite out tongues when needed and speak up effectivley when needed. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS THROUGH ALL OF THIS.
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