I'm Tiiiiiiiiired!

Just came off of three shifts back to back! 7am to 11pm then 7am to 3pm today. I'm tired. 2nd shift really isn't that bad-I actually enjoy it. I have more time to relax. Last night I was actually able to watch some wrestling going from room to room-it was cool. Earlier in the evening one of my residents was sent out due to not being able to maintain his oxygen. I feel really good about being as attentive to him as I was because apparently he was sleepy all day and wasn't very active or anything. When I made my rounds to get vitals later in the afternoon, something just didn't feel right to me-his breathing didn't seem quite normal plus he wasn't easily aroused-I went to get the Sat machine to check his oxygen and it was way below normal. I reported to the nurse. Long story short, he was sent out and apparently as soon as the EMT's got him into the ambulance he crashed and they had to perform CPR before they took him to the ER. As of now, he is stable. Still not quite sure what happened though.

Since I've been on my job, I've lost about 8 people. I've had people tell me it will get easier but it doesn't-not for me. I'm too sensitive and my heart's much too big not to let death bother me. It breaks my heart to lose someone-I hurt for the families that I've come to know and I hurt for my loss also because I've come to love the folks I care for. It will never get easier for me. The loss of a loved one hurts no matter who you are.